Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I should also point out that this is my Fourth party of the weekend so I'm not quite as dapper as I once looked.
Why do the ladies love Jesus? Cause he's hung like this!
I used that joke many many times. Plus I got to do the joke from The Crow, I was at a big party at the Holiday Inn and walked up to the counter, slapped three big ass nails down and said, "hey, can ya put me up for the night?" The lady behind the counter just said, "I've had a shitty night, that just made it a little better." So Jesus did a good deed. I carried those nails for two days just so I could use that joke. I also had a water bottle filled with wine. One fun part was at the bar the second night I had forgotten to hit the ATM so I walked a couple blocks to the nearest one. I walked in and immediately everyone is looking at me. I just laughed, looked around and found the ATM. Three younger guys were particularly amused, one started to take a picture with his cell phone. So I told him my why do the ladies love Jesus joke, two started laughing and the one with his phone out suddenly didn't look amused. "I believe that if Jesus drops you with his left hand he catches you with his right." So I whipped out my nails and asked him if he could put me up for the night. then walked away. In retrospect I should have said, yeah he catches you, unless you fall through that hole in the middle of his hand. Hindsight is 20/20. His friends were still laughing. Then finished the night at a party with a very nice guy/girl ratio and Jesus fooled around with Garfunkel. I love Halloween.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Theres a really good chance that I'm blowing this all out of proportion, if she was uncomfortable with not knowing what happened then I think she'd be uncomfortable with me, so the fact that we sat around doing nothing for several hours in the morning, and early afternoon, even after the person who's house it was left because he was heading out of town. So I think everything is cool, but at this moment I feel pretty bad about what was originally a pretty damn good time, and thats not cool.
UPDATE: Every things cool. As I expected I blew everything massively out of proportion. She's a little mad at herself for getting so drunk but hey it happens.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
There's more but it just continues the depressing info, the only good news is that if theres' any significant change its in the right direction, but really the change is hardly significant. idiots have lost 1%, misinformed has stayed even and reason has gained 5% yippy, nothing to write home about, but apparently enough to write blog about....
First off Mrs. Thompson.A good looking woman for sure, and not really a great picture of her. Plus having Jowls in the scene kills any hope of sexiness. Lets give her another chance., how about one with Kelsey Grammer, everyone likes Frazer even if he was better on Cheers.
Ok we get a better look at the rest of her, which is very nice, unfortunately her face looks busted in that pic. well combine those two in your head and she's definitely a trophy wife. Even ugly men can get hot wifes, if they're rich.
Now for Elizabeth Kucinich.
I think we have a winner, Barbra Bush AHH sorry just a little pre-Halloween scare.
Again I know there is real shit to talk about in the world but I'm in a fairly good mood and I just don't feel like it. I'd rather look at the woman I want to be first lady. And dammit Dennis who let you out of the house with a red bow tie? Wait are those sequins on that bow tie WTF your trying to be president, look like one! Wow, I just commented on clothing. I think ill be getting back to things that matter sooner than I expected.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I mentioned Ron Paul earlier, I like some of his economics, and I like his foreign policy, thats about it. I think he's far far better than Mitt or Rudy but thats not saying much, I'd rather vote for the kid I'm watching chew on his shoe in the psych center than either of those psycho's. He's pro-home schooling which sounds fine till you look at the parents who home school, or worse yet the children that have been home schooled. He wants to guarantee that the kid who's mom taught him that the world was created a few thousand years After we started brewing beer get equal consideration from college as the kid who, you know, knows some shit. If those kids pass the same fucked up tests as the rest of us thats one thing, but even then there is a reason why teachers after sixth grade are specialized, no one should be forced to learn from only one source no matter how good that source is it's not as good as many sources even the bad teachers force critical thinking skills on the student. I don't like home schooling.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Ok so now to the heart of the matter, what do we do about it? The question is are we morally obliged to maintain our species or the individual? I think the argument for the individual is easy and is shown by our basic morals so I'm not really going to bother with that. I'm going to look at the other side, just for shits and giggles. So if we want to do whats best for our species we need to improve the breed, or something like that. I'm not a Nazi so I don't plan on killing off anyone deemed inferior. I should also say that this really is a pointless though experiment I'm just bored at work. I guess one option would be to return to the state of nature, hunter gatherers and shit. But our social abilities are one of the great strengths of our species so I see that as counter productive. Ok as long as we are talking about a hypothetical lets say someone comes up with a way to simply turn off the gonads of either men or women or both. Which would be a better option could be its own fun debate. So now your sex organs (but not drive, gotta have fun ya know) are off but can be turned back on. Then someone decides that the government should be the one to decide who gets theirs turned back on. So now how do we decide who is allowed to reproduce? We could start with the easy choices, easy that is from an evolutionary standpoint, people with genetic diseases that would be passed to their children would not be allowed to reproduce. And because I'm not a total dick and we generally like children those deemed reproduction worthy will in vitro fertilize those who wish to have children but are not genetically advantageous.
Shit I'm just getting to the fun/controversial part and I'm outta time for the day. expect an update tomorrow, my only fear of this type of thought is the fundies saying that "darwinists" really think this way and want to kill of the undesirables. This might also be what social Darwinism was all about I'm not really up to date on my social Darwinism because I know its a croc of shit and is often used to bad mouth evolutionary thought. Anyway I gotta run.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
And Thank you PZ for pointing out this fantastic piece of work.
Monday, October 15, 2007
And now to my original point about friends. I know I go on rants and depressed commentary on what I'll loosely call my love life, but I was reminded not to long ago of why I still have hope. To me a relationship is founded on friendship, love being just the ultimate form of friendship. Or it should be, I've seen many that aren't and they don't last or they're ugly relationships. So in my mind, and man I hope I'm right, if you can have good friends then you can find that friend thats more than a friend. This is why I'm able to hang on to hope for love, I have awesome friends. My best example of that, a friend of mine helped clean my apartment a couple weeks ago. When I say he helped I mean he practically shoved me out of the way and cleaned it himself. He's cleaned peoples houses and businesses for years because when you have no job training you end up doing random jobs like that. Plus once he got started his OCD took over and he had to finish. Most of my friends are broke, real broke, but almost anyone of them would do anything them possibly could to help me, because we're friends. There was a time a while back where I basically didn't have enough cash for food, I was working but had been dumb with my finances and it caught up with me, so I had like ten bucks for the week. So I took turns going to different friends houses for dinner and skipped lunch. When I said I'd pay them back they all said "don't worry about it, we all go through rough patches, you'd do the same for me," and its true I would and I have. So I consider myself a good friend, I assume they think that of me because thats how I think of them. And I didn't even get to the one who often DD's and has picked me up at like 7 am when my truck died, she's a hell of a friend too, and I'm happy to say she might have found more than a friend.
Oh and all this crap about friends and love is trying to bolster myself up because I might have a date with a very pretty lady this weekend. I'm just trying not to think about it too much, I have too much time to think about shit like this and it usually just hurts the situation because i come off as crazed stalker type when i reality its just that I've got nothing else goin on, oh and I'm a quixotic fool. So it goes.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Damn I've written a lot today and I think I'm done.
Peace have a good weekend folks.
A co-worker was able to go and said it was simply amazing. He described it as being completely unlike any other speech by a true world leader. He sat in a chair on the stage and talked to the crowd, no notes nothing just him. One of the point that clearly stuck with my co-worker was the idea that just by simply looking at our bodies compared to other animals we should not be violent, we do not have fangs or claws, we don't have thick protective skin, we are weak and vulnerable, but we are smart and if we choose we can use that intellect to work towards peace. In the Q&A session it was asked what would be done in Buddhism if science was to disprove some part of the religion. He said this has already happened and Buddhism has adapted to fit the known world as opposed to every single other religion which fights against science Buddhism embraces science as they are both seeking the truth, there should be no discrepancies. Of course this is where a lack of a god is a big advantage to a religion, you can change things without having to claim that god told you to change it or other such shenanigans. Any way Mr. Lama thank you for making a mockery of every other organized religion by quite simply practicing what you preach, good luck with getting to go home someday, and freeing Tibet, and Burma.
And now I'll leave you with some words of wisdom indirectly from the man himself. (sorry its friday, no disrespect)
It stands in opposition to conventional biological science, which relies on the scientific method to explain life through observable processes
There's some fun stuff in there, unless you actually think that ID is a legitimate scientific study, in which case, um I'm sorry for you. My only concern is that this article is not locked, I have a sneaking suspicion that somethings will altered in the near future.
It pains me when the scope of how hard people work to decieve sinks in. Half of me says fight fire with fire, and half says take the high road of self immolation. While being burned alive metaphorically sound like fun on a Friday night, the masses will reflect on it only enough to crave s'mores.I wish I could take credit for that, great imagery. This was taken from the comment section over at Flex Your Head by Byshop. I didn't exactly get permission but I did tell him I was going to steal it, so if he doesn't want it show he can let me know and I'll take it down, but I think I'm ok.
A person comes to the DMV,
"hey I need a license"
"Ok lets see some ID, social security card birth certificate all that jazz."
"Uh I don't have all that stuff."
"Did you forget to bring it or are you an undocumented worker?"
"Ok well then before you can get your permit you need to fill out the green papers over on the counter."
"What are they?"
"The green papers are the first step towards a green card and becoming a citizen."
"What if I don't want to be a citizen?"
"Then I could ask why the fuck you're here, or I could just ask that fine gentleman with the badge and the gun to come have a little chat with you."
"Ok Ok I'll fill out the green form."
"Thought you might, and good luck with the parallel parking, the guy who does the test is a dick and a bit of a racist."
"land of the free..."
Thats my plan, have the people begin the process of becoming citizens or at least legal foreign workers. This is not amnesty at all. It's registering with the INS and taking the first step towards being legal. Exactly how big that first step would be I don't know. I don't have enough experience in this realm to know if you would then consider these folks legal. I do know that they would be on thin ice and that any slip and they fall through the ice, straight to mexico or where ever they're from. Shit why not do a modern public works project? We've got millions of people who are here trying to work for a couple bucks an hour, lets get them legal and put them to work for 6 bucks and hour to do something. Or as part of their status they must contribute 5 hours a week to community clean-up, actually I think that should also be a part of welfare. Imagine if there were millions of people who simply had to clean up the streets from time to time. Then for the immigrants who have quite a few years before they will be legal maybe we could have them helping to build roads or something, give them a job skill while they earn a taxable income. Or they can keep picking fruit, but do it legally. There just one major flaw, capitalism. It's cheaper to use illegal immigrants than it is to use legal folks, so we need to severely crackdown on those using illegal workers especially if we made it easy to become semi-legal. Having a job could be a part of the drivers license paperwork. I'm just brainstorming here but I know there is a solution to illegal immigration, and it has nothing to do with walls.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
If you haven't heard about it then you're in for a very deranged treat.
The quick of the story is that a Pastor was found dead wearing two wet suits, flippers gloves mask, while hog tied with a dildo up his ass. The police determined that it was "accidental mechanical asphyxia." Now I'm pretty going when it come to this shit, as long your not hurting other people (or only hurting people who like it) then I really don't care what you do in your bed room, or living room, bathroom, back-yard whatever. But how can you not be a little curious about what was going on in this guys place. I mean its just weird, and why two wet suits? one wasn't enough? But all of that has been made fun of already, again that why I didn't bother, but then I read this poem over at Pharyngula and I could resist no longer so here is quite possibly the only poem to appear on this website.
We gather here to eulogize
The Pastor and the Man
Old Gary Aldridge, often wise,
Though not his latest plan.
A member of the Christian nation,
Friend of Jerry Falwell,
His last attempt at masturbation
Didn't go at all well.
For fifteen years, he'd preached the word
A Southern Baptist minister
His death--now, is it just absurd
Or something rather sinister?
How does a person come to wear
Not one wetsuit, but two?
(Although, I know, I should not care
I'm curious--aren't you?)
I tend to think that, years ago,
He spied a rubber glove,
And wondered "Should I--well, you know--
When God and I make love?"
He tried it on, and found a tube,
Half hidden on his shelf,
Of KY--smiled, and murmered "Lube
Thy neighbor as thy self."
And minutes later, hard at work,
He felt a little odd
Was this a sin, or just a quirk?
He talked it out with God.
"Is what I'm doing here a sin?
Or is my pleasure Thine?
Is this as bad as skin on skin?
Lord, please, give me a sign!"
So God produced a pamphlet: "Your
Vacation in Aruba!"
And pointed out--right there, page four--
The wetsuits used for SCUBA
See, God's not really how you think
A deity might be
He's got a wicked bondage kink
(Just ask His son, J. C.)
So Gary died, not steeped in sin
But following God's plan;
So straight to Heaven--come on in!
And bring the wetsuits, man!
Explain what happened then.
The moral is, please don't forget:
Your safeword is "Amen".
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
And heres a short list of Bush scandals, ok so maybe short is the wrong word.
1. In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job. Teh man was goodz, afraid of teh Ceiling Cat and evilz.
2. Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,
3. And lots of sheepz and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts, srsly.
4. His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.
5. And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin? Gota prey, just in cased."
6. Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Saitin wented 2.
7. Ceiling Cat axt Saitin, "Wher u wuz?" Saitin saied "Oh, hai. I'z wuz in ur earth, woking up and down uponz it."
8. Teh Ceiling Cat sayd "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."
9. "No wai!" sed Saitin.
10. "U just plyin favrits.
11. If u take his cheezburgers, he no laiks u no moar."
12. Then teh Ceiling Cat sed "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no hurtzing Job hissef." And then Saitin went awai.
13. Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,
14. And a mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding grass"
15. "And thens teh servnts was atacked by some dudez and ur naminals was stoldz by them and only i got wai."
16. And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege. He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded ur sheepz and more servnts and only i got awai."
17. And thens a more diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Sum Chaldean dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."
18. And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege.
19. "Ur sunz howse feld over and skishded evryones. Sry."
20. Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."
21. "Teh Ceiling Cat giv me cheezburger, teh Ceiling Cat takded mah cheezburger awai. I stil laiks teh Ceiling Cat."
22. And teh Ceiling Cat sed "I winz!!"Ridiculous, but kinda funny. And a thorough waste of time, what more can you ask for?
Friday, October 05, 2007
I have to cut this short, I'm leaving work early so that I can go console a friend. She was talking with a very good friend of hers (I know him but not as well) who recently left for his third tour of duty. She was talking to him when his based came under attack. He is ok, but she is shaken and needs a friend. I wish I could do the same for him.
Fuck this war, and fuck anyone who still supports it.