Im going to be a republican

I have figured out my new calling in life. Ive decided to become a Republican. just wait it gets better. Of course this does mean that my soul will burn in hell for all of eternity but hey cant win em all. Im going to help on some campaigns. I think Ill start with helping Rick Santorum in PA, hes a powerfull republican douchbag and hes going to need some serious help in '06 so first Ill help there, get my feet wet in the game. Then I'll start managing a few campaigns for other senators untill I see a Presidential campaign that looks hopefull. I jump on the band wagon. oh, have to mention that it is critical to start at as high a level as your ineptitude will allow because if you start all the way at the bottom then youll never get to the top in time. So I help some tool get elected president, everyone with me so far? then he, or she, oh no were talking republicans so so this rich white christian man that I just helped get elected is now going to turn around and give me some pimp ass job that Im not even vaugly qualified for but I make some serious cash so its ok. This is why it critical that its a republican tool and a democrate, they at least occationaly go based on merit and I dont want to risk that. I cant afford an education and then try to find a job in the field, not with this economy.. So im thinking Secratary of Deffence. seems like a job that really doesnt require you to know your ass from a whole in the ground. And every time you take a shit you can think of the thousands of dollars that were spent on the fifty dollar toilet seat, thats gotta be fun for a while. Of course there is no consern about wasting billions of dollars, thats just expected. Then you get some nice greasy porkbarrel no-bid contracts to a few companies and they make a few extra billion in profit for the owners then when you return to the private sector those same companies might be willing to hook you up with another bogus job as a CEO or some thing and now your set for life. What a country, imagine it being rich for the rest of your life without ever having to do real work and without ever having to fill out annoying applications or even be compitent in your job. God Bless America (choked up, singel tear)