Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Home Schooling

We had an interesting discussion about this topic recently and I wanted to delve into it deeper. Unfortunately I don't have time today and I haven't been able to get the real studies from my friend yet. But I ran into a very similar post over at Black Sun Journal that I didn't want to lose. So here is a relevant post. this is more my way to save this link than anything else.

My Bad!

This kid shoulda have listened to smoky da bear. I can't imagine how to respond as a judge, assuming it was just some little kid doing the stupid shit that kids do, the kid played with matches. Normally thats a sent to the room, maybe without dinner kinda crime. This time it also happened to destroy 20+ homes and many other buildings, burned 15,000 acres and left 5 people injured. How do you deal with that? I don't envy that judge. The other guy in the article though, with the white ford I might just enjoy being the judge on that same. I hope you enjoyed that sun rise, it'll be your last as a free man. Bu-Bye.

Happy Halloween

I like this holiday. It has no pretensions of anything serious, at least anymore. It's just an excuse to dress up, be silly, and have a good time. During Christmas and Thanksgiving suicides go up people think about those they miss and all sorts of depressing shit, don't get me wrong theres lots of fun in those holidays too but there is justifiable sadness too. Halloween is just fun, no one looks down on you if you don't like Halloween, you don't get called a grinch you're just not in costume. I for one had a blast this weekend. Now that I got shit straightened out with Garfunkel, that was her costume, all thats left is a bunch of good memories, some are a little fuzzy but I got nothing bad. It also was quite possibly the most blasphemy I've ever packed into a weekend. I dressed as Jesus so naturally I had to tell some Jesus jokes. I actually think my costume turned out pretty good, so good in fact that I might even discard my anonymity for the moment and post a picture of my self, in two years with this blog I have never done this. I think I only used my real name once. The anonymity is part of why I blog, I'm free to say anything I possibly want about any subject that I want. I'll go on a huge rant about some politician or some emo ass whining about some misadventure in the land of the ladies and it doesn't matter. Oh well its a bad ass costume and I need to show it off, oh and Jesus has gained a lot of weight since he died, two thousand years of partying in heaven, and I don't fuck with no light beer.
I should also point out that this is my Fourth party of the weekend so I'm not quite as dapper as I once looked.

Why do the ladies love Jesus? Cause he's hung like this!
I used that joke many many times. Plus I got to do the joke from The Crow, I was at a big party at the Holiday Inn and walked up to the counter, slapped three big ass nails down and said, "hey, can ya put me up for the night?" The lady behind the counter just said, "I've had a shitty night, that just made it a little better." So Jesus did a good deed. I carried those nails for two days just so I could use that joke. I also had a water bottle filled with wine. One fun part was at the bar the second night I had forgotten to hit the ATM so I walked a couple blocks to the nearest one. I walked in and immediately everyone is looking at me. I just laughed, looked around and found the ATM. Three younger guys were particularly amused, one started to take a picture with his cell phone. So I told him my why do the ladies love Jesus joke, two started laughing and the one with his phone out suddenly didn't look amused. "I believe that if Jesus drops you with his left hand he catches you with his right." So I whipped out my nails and asked him if he could put me up for the night. then walked away. In retrospect I should have said, yeah he catches you, unless you fall through that hole in the middle of his hand. Hindsight is 20/20. His friends were still laughing. Then finished the night at a party with a very nice guy/girl ratio and Jesus fooled around with Garfunkel. I love Halloween.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Ever hook up with someone (an intentionally vague term) while inebriated, then bull shit a bit in the morning, then bull shit a little online only to have them eventually say, oh by the way, I don't remember what happened that night. For you're sake I hope not cause it's not a comfortable spot. I feel like I took advantage of the girl even though thats not at all how shit went down. I'm just glad things didn't go any further than they did or I'd feel even worse. It doesn't help that there are pretty big gaps in my memories of the night but I know what happened and I know I didn't do anything wrong. I guess it was sort of taking advantage of a drunk person, but not any more than she took advantage of this drunk person, but somehow that argument just doesn't isn't making me feel any better at all. Oh and making shit all the worse is the fact that shes a bit younger than me (but not inappropriately so) I don't want to be the dirty old man, I mean maybe when I'm old but not when I'm 25.
Theres a really good chance that I'm blowing this all out of proportion, if she was uncomfortable with not knowing what happened then I think she'd be uncomfortable with me, so the fact that we sat around doing nothing for several hours in the morning, and early afternoon, even after the person who's house it was left because he was heading out of town. So I think everything is cool, but at this moment I feel pretty bad about what was originally a pretty damn good time, and thats not cool.

UPDATE: Every things cool. As I expected I blew everything massively out of proportion. She's a little mad at herself for getting so drunk but hey it happens.

Monday, October 29, 2007


Good times were had by all. I've got a few photo's of myself but so far just from the fourth party of the weekend and I'm not looking my best. If I get a good enough photo I might just post it here, which would be a first. Anyway I went to a party at the Holiday Inn for the Monster Ball. the place was packed, it was fun. Then went to a friends house for his party, and more fun was found. The Saturday I went to the Zombie Ball but I left early to go to a party at another friends house, and definitely had a good time. Halloween kicks ass.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Fuck the Colorado Rockies

Not cause I want Boston to win (isn't that who's playing?) or because I give a rats ass about baseball at all (obviously) but because some twit thinks they can trademark "Rocktober" because people have been using it lately in the context of the colorado rockies. Just because some walking bag of douche figured out he could make a profit trademarking threepeet a while back does not mean that every time a fucking sports team goes to the playoffs they get to trademark a phrase. Especially one that's been used for a long time having nothing to do with fucking baseball. I've heard Rocktober plenty of times this month, usually in reference to fucking rock music you asshole. The basic premise of trademarking a word so that anyone who uses that word has to pay for it seems fucked up to me. I want to trademark the word the, anytime someone uses the word The I want to get paid. See how that could be trouble? Baseball sucks anyway.

South Park

Wow, I haven't seen much tv lately, I try to do my laundry at times when I can catch a rerun of TDS and Colbert. Last night I happened to be at a friends when South Park came on. Now I had been working on my amazing and blasphemous Halloween costume, so there I sat with my beard and wig on, my crown of thorns and a halo, lookin' like one sexy jesus in business cloths. When a rerun of the latest South Park came on and my friends started laughing, they said I'd like this episode, they were right. The plot is odd, it is south park, the kids ended up in Imagination Land where everything anyone imagines ends up, and its divided between good thoughts and evil thoughts, unfortunately terrorists got in too and blew a hole in the wall. I told you it's odd, and none of that really matters. Although the side plot of Kyle by court order having to suck Cartmans balls is pretty hilarious. Whats really great though is when they go to meet the council (or whatever they call it) that is the leaders of imagination land the lion from narnia is there, morphius from the matrix, and... Jesus. I laughed so hard. It's a great episode, actually several episodes, and I highly recommend them. Then to show how stupid americans are, I find this. Yahoo Answeres: Why did South Park have Jesus in imagination land? hahahahaha I think my reply was more curtious than it needed to be, but I can be civil when I want. Oh and my Halloween costume kicks ass, this is going to be so much fun, and probably the most blasphemy I've ever packed into a single night, at least till tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Do I hate America

No, but some days I might have not be too sure of that answer. Not just because we're an arrogant superpower that thinks the world should kneel before our awesomeness. No the reason I have a bit of distain for my brethren at the moment isn't even anything new its because of shit like this.
There's more but it just continues the depressing info, the only good news is that if theres' any significant change its in the right direction, but really the change is hardly significant. idiots have lost 1%, misinformed has stayed even and reason has gained 5% yippy, nothing to write home about, but apparently enough to write blog about....

The Onion lied to me / hot first ladies.

According to the Onion If elected Fred Thompson will have the hottest first lady in history. Now I guess it's not really a lie in that she would be better than all those who have come before although you could argue for Jakie O, but that's mentioned in the article. No my problem is that while she is attractive, of all people Dennis Kucinich's wife is considerably better looking, at least in my opinion. I guess it depends on if you're a boob man, plus the Irish in me goes a little crazy for the redheads. Damn Dennis even has him beat in the age disparity column, the Leprechaun married a woman less than half is age! he's 60 she's 29. we need some pictures.

First off Mrs. Thompson.A good looking woman for sure, and not really a great picture of her. Plus having Jowls in the scene kills any hope of sexiness. Lets give her another chance., how about one with Kelsey Grammer, everyone likes Frazer even if he was better on Cheers.
Ok we get a better look at the rest of her, which is very nice, unfortunately her face looks busted in that pic. well combine those two in your head and she's definitely a trophy wife. Even ugly men can get hot wifes, if they're rich.

Now for Elizabeth Kucinich.

I think we have a winner, Barbra Bush AHH sorry just a little pre-Halloween scare.
Again I know there is real shit to talk about in the world but I'm in a fairly good mood and I just don't feel like it. I'd rather look at the woman I want to be first lady. And dammit Dennis who let you out of the house with a red bow tie? Wait are those sequins on that bow tie WTF your trying to be president, look like one! Wow, I just commented on clothing. I think ill be getting back to things that matter sooner than I expected.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Jesus and Mo

another one I like, By the way I know there is shit going on that I could talk about but I don't feel like it.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Open Primaries

A neighbor of mine who's a history professor and an all around great guy introduced me to an interesting theory, but I'm not sure what to make of it. Open Primaries. His idea is different from the California and Louisiana (maybe more?) open primaries which were deemed unconstitutional. The idea of this one is that you still have partisan primaries, but every registered voter can vote on every primary. I'm just not sure what this would do. His thought is that someone like Ron Paul might actually be able to win the republican primary because liberals would be able to vote for their favorite republican. One major concern for this type of thing is that people would vote for the worst person running from the opposite party. My concern is that there is so little real difference between the two parties and I see this as blurring that line even more. I guess I don't know enough about the theoretical positives to be able to say much about this topic, I thought this would be a more interesting post than it turned into.

I mentioned Ron Paul earlier, I like some of his economics, and I like his foreign policy, thats about it. I think he's far far better than Mitt or Rudy but thats not saying much, I'd rather vote for the kid I'm watching chew on his shoe in the psych center than either of those psycho's. He's pro-home schooling which sounds fine till you look at the parents who home school, or worse yet the children that have been home schooled. He wants to guarantee that the kid who's mom taught him that the world was created a few thousand years After we started brewing beer get equal consideration from college as the kid who, you know, knows some shit. If those kids pass the same fucked up tests as the rest of us thats one thing, but even then there is a reason why teachers after sixth grade are specialized, no one should be forced to learn from only one source no matter how good that source is it's not as good as many sources even the bad teachers force critical thinking skills on the student. I don't like home schooling.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Morals vs Evolution

This is not about wither or not we can be moral without religion. My views on that should be clear. This is about how does our species continue to evolve in the modern age. First I'll say that the modern age is so unbelievably short from an evolutionary view point that its effects so far are of little consequence. But as domestication and breeding show things can happen quite quickly if given the opportunity. The problem comes from the fact that the more educated people have fewer kids while those who are least educated are still reproducing at high rates. Now I know there might be better ways to look at this but I'm just thinking in very general terms, economics might have been a better route, it doesn't matter though as they are so closely related anyway. Actually I would like to compare birth rates to intelligence but I don't think that would be easy data to gather. You probably already see where this is going. By natural selection for humans who's only survival skill in unparalleled intelligence one would expect that increasing our intelligence would be beneficial. Yet it seems that by simply evolution we are going to get dumber and probably very quickly by evolutionary standards. I don't think any of this is anything that should shock anyone, it might offend some folks but even without any research at all I think people will agree with what I've said so far and I will point out that no where has race or and factors besides education, income, and intelligence been mention or implied I do not mean this a an excuse for racism in any manner.

Ok so now to the heart of the matter, what do we do about it? The question is are we morally obliged to maintain our species or the individual? I think the argument for the individual is easy and is shown by our basic morals so I'm not really going to bother with that. I'm going to look at the other side, just for shits and giggles. So if we want to do whats best for our species we need to improve the breed, or something like that. I'm not a Nazi so I don't plan on killing off anyone deemed inferior. I should also say that this really is a pointless though experiment I'm just bored at work. I guess one option would be to return to the state of nature, hunter gatherers and shit. But our social abilities are one of the great strengths of our species so I see that as counter productive. Ok as long as we are talking about a hypothetical lets say someone comes up with a way to simply turn off the gonads of either men or women or both. Which would be a better option could be its own fun debate. So now your sex organs (but not drive, gotta have fun ya know) are off but can be turned back on. Then someone decides that the government should be the one to decide who gets theirs turned back on. So now how do we decide who is allowed to reproduce? We could start with the easy choices, easy that is from an evolutionary standpoint, people with genetic diseases that would be passed to their children would not be allowed to reproduce. And because I'm not a total dick and we generally like children those deemed reproduction worthy will in vitro fertilize those who wish to have children but are not genetically advantageous.

Shit I'm just getting to the fun/controversial part and I'm outta time for the day. expect an update tomorrow, my only fear of this type of thought is the fundies saying that "darwinists" really think this way and want to kill of the undesirables. This might also be what social Darwinism was all about I'm not really up to date on my social Darwinism because I know its a croc of shit and is often used to bad mouth evolutionary thought. Anyway I gotta run.

Fuck NYSEG (warning many fucking obsenities)

For those non-upstate NYers NYSEG is New York State Electric and Gas, its a monopoly and they suck. The other day I get home late after working then running to the hospital to see my sister then go see some friends by the time I got home it was after midnight I walk in and flip the light switch and nothing. WTF? so I try a few more, nothing. I had seen lights on at neighbors so I knew it wasn't an outage. Oh shit when did I last pay that? Ok so I can't be upset about turning off a service because I forgot to pay. What I am upset about is the fact that the last time I was late with payment they put a 72 hour notice on my door. It seems reasonable that they would give you a warning before cutting off a rather critical utility. So I went to the NYSEG HQ in the next town over to pay my bill. They told what I owed, it wasn't all that much I'm a single guy, so I handed them my card. "oh we don't take credit cards." Fuck you, you have a monopoly on the electric and gas utilities and you're trying to tell me that your financial system is behind every gas station in the country? They say you can pay by phone or online, clearly that shit isn't done with cash or check you twit. Luckily before any of that actually came out, but the look on my face might have said it anyway, the person at the next teller said oh I can do that over here. You're damn right you can, so after one more dirty look at the first person I turned and smiled at helpful teller. Then she says oh their is a $6.50 processing fee for using a credit card. My smile was gone. Six fucking dollar and fifty fucking cents? But what the fuck can I do about it but bend over and take it. I'm going to switch to... oh wait its a monopoly so if they feel like it they'll bend me over and drive it home any time they want and theres not a damn thing I can do about it. As for why I wasn't notified, their response, oh we only do that in the winter, thanks assholes. Oh and when I got home last night, still no power. Fucking Assholes. If I don't have power tonight, well there isn't a damn thing I can do about it now is there? Fuck

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

More Than Meets The Eye

I watched Transformers last night and I can't decide how I feel about it. It was entertaining and great but craptastic and stupid at once. A huge part of the problem was being stuck with a horrendous plot the details of which are best left ignored. But thats sort of the point, it's not a thinking movie its a fun movie with giant robots fighting in the streets. And for the most part it is fun, and had more laughs than I expected which was a major bonus because it's not a movie that should take itself too seriously and it doesn't. One point I didn't catch but someone else in the room did, of the Autobots (good guys) only one was killed and in perfectly stereotypical it was the "black" robot. Obviously I'm using the term very very loosely as it's hard to be racist about a robot but in Jazz's only line which should have ended up on the cutting room floor or else re-written, it was obvious he was supposed to be the cool one and possible the "black" one, so of course he dies. Its an action movie law you know? So I'll say its entertaining enough to rent. I probably wouldn't buy it although Megan Fox almost make that worth while. Should I feel dirty thinking shes hot (she is) while playing a high school girl or is it ok because I know shes not really? Eh either way enjoy the flick but put the skepticism away its a movie about giant alien robots that look like chevys. It's funny how easily we (I) accept that, then can't help but point out other glaring errors even if they are tiny by comparision. like the little spy robot that turns into a cd player, it walks and gets in fights with people and holds its own, usually kicking a little ass, but somehow once it transforms into a cd player its light enough that no one notices while carrying it. I guess I'll just call it space metal and move on. I also would love to know what GM paid to have every car a GM, and in a less than subtle touch the only "bad guy" car is a Ford Mustang. That might have backfired as the cop edition 'stang looks pretty bad-ass. If you like action movies you'll like it, I guess thats all there is to it.


Now this is how you're supposed to rant! Thank You Greta Christina. It's about the stereotype of the angry atheist, she starts by stating why shes angry, and thats quite a few pages, then explains why anger isn't a bad thing, in fact its critical. It goes on and on but it never drops off into inane rambling, so if you can stand reading my pointless banter then seriously click the link.

And Thank you PZ for pointing out this fantastic piece of work.

All is well

I briefly mentioned a family member being I'll and in the hospital in the last post, so I'd just like to say they are fine, unfortunately the doctors still don't know what happened but at this time it seems like they are going to be just fine.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Friends/ the point of religion

I meant to do this awhile ago but I didn't so here it is, and I'm going to hit on two completely separate issues the point of religion probably being deserving of its own post but I don't feel like it, its not like I have a huge amount of respect for religion anyway so putting it behind my friends seems fitting. First off I had a shitty weekend, a family member is ill, nothing life threatening but in the hospital and no one knows whats going on, no fun at all. But I don't feel like talking about that. In telling the people I work with, many of whom are nurses, about the family member about half of them finished with "I'll keep her in my prayers" or something like that. First I need to hold back from laughing as I've never really stated my atheistic views at work although those I work with closely could probably guess correctly. But there are a few devout folks around and it's easier not to stir up trouble in the workplace, I think on my last day I'm going to tell a few of them just to see the reaction, it'll be great, especially the fundie who thinks the world of me. I'm sure she thinks she's never met an atheist and would know them by their pure evil, she won't know what to think when the first open atheist is the guy who saves her ass by taking the mail, fixes her computer and moves anything heavy around the office, ha. Anyway, that simply little phrase "I'll keep her in my prayers" as empty as it seems to me, pretty well sums up religion. I can fully understand the comfort of thinking that some higher power is looking out for you and your loved ones, particularly in a case like this where someone is in the hospital and no one know what the problem is. Its a very helpless feeling, I just see looking to imaginary friends for support as counterproductive but who am I to judge the feelings of others?

And now to my original point about friends. I know I go on rants and depressed commentary on what I'll loosely call my love life, but I was reminded not to long ago of why I still have hope. To me a relationship is founded on friendship, love being just the ultimate form of friendship. Or it should be, I've seen many that aren't and they don't last or they're ugly relationships. So in my mind, and man I hope I'm right, if you can have good friends then you can find that friend thats more than a friend. This is why I'm able to hang on to hope for love, I have awesome friends. My best example of that, a friend of mine helped clean my apartment a couple weeks ago. When I say he helped I mean he practically shoved me out of the way and cleaned it himself. He's cleaned peoples houses and businesses for years because when you have no job training you end up doing random jobs like that. Plus once he got started his OCD took over and he had to finish. Most of my friends are broke, real broke, but almost anyone of them would do anything them possibly could to help me, because we're friends. There was a time a while back where I basically didn't have enough cash for food, I was working but had been dumb with my finances and it caught up with me, so I had like ten bucks for the week. So I took turns going to different friends houses for dinner and skipped lunch. When I said I'd pay them back they all said "don't worry about it, we all go through rough patches, you'd do the same for me," and its true I would and I have. So I consider myself a good friend, I assume they think that of me because thats how I think of them. And I didn't even get to the one who often DD's and has picked me up at like 7 am when my truck died, she's a hell of a friend too, and I'm happy to say she might have found more than a friend.

Oh and all this crap about friends and love is trying to bolster myself up because I might have a date with a very pretty lady this weekend. I'm just trying not to think about it too much, I have too much time to think about shit like this and it usually just hurts the situation because i come off as crazed stalker type when i reality its just that I've got nothing else goin on, oh and I'm a quixotic fool. So it goes.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Boondocks

Old but good article from The New Yorker on Aaron McGruder the creator of the comic and cartoon, The Boondocks. Its a fairly long article, and rather out-of-date as its from 2004 but its worth a read if you like the show, and I do. This was sent to me by a friend I'll just call J. So thank you J, it was well worth the read, enough so that I'm telling other people to read it. The one thing I didn't get was why they said the group assembled to celebrate the anniversary of "The Nation" were upset when he talked about voting for Nader.

Damn I've written a lot today and I think I'm done.
Peace have a good weekend folks.

The Dali Lama

So the Dali Lama was in town recently, or more specifically he was in Ithaca about 45 minutes away but when your talking about the Lama 45 minutes is close enough to call it in town. I of course was not able to go, grrrr. At the same time I find the Dali Lama and Buddhism as something of a point of contention, only because they are the only reasons I'm not a militant evangelical atheist. I mean when I think of spirituality and what the stereotypical positive views of religion, I think of the Buddhist monks and only the Buddhist monks, everyone else talks big but comes up more than a little lacking in action, or too much action if ya know what I mean. Here I'll run off a list of everything bad I've heard about the Lama, first was that his views towards homosexuality are not too enlightened, second was a friend who dislikes him because he's too damn peaceful. So the first I take as a byproduct of simple lack of exposure, once he finds out that a few of his buddies in orange prefer the sausage he'll probably come around. As for being too peaceful well I think that more a reflection of my friend having just completed anger management class more than a real insult towards the Dali Lama.

A co-worker was able to go and said it was simply amazing. He described it as being completely unlike any other speech by a true world leader. He sat in a chair on the stage and talked to the crowd, no notes nothing just him. One of the point that clearly stuck with my co-worker was the idea that just by simply looking at our bodies compared to other animals we should not be violent, we do not have fangs or claws, we don't have thick protective skin, we are weak and vulnerable, but we are smart and if we choose we can use that intellect to work towards peace. In the Q&A session it was asked what would be done in Buddhism if science was to disprove some part of the religion. He said this has already happened and Buddhism has adapted to fit the known world as opposed to every single other religion which fights against science Buddhism embraces science as they are both seeking the truth, there should be no discrepancies. Of course this is where a lack of a god is a big advantage to a religion, you can change things without having to claim that god told you to change it or other such shenanigans. Any way Mr. Lama thank you for making a mockery of every other organized religion by quite simply practicing what you preach, good luck with getting to go home someday, and freeing Tibet, and Burma.

And now I'll leave you with some words of wisdom indirectly from the man himself. (sorry its friday, no disrespect)

I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who dislike George Bush

This is a group on facebook, its only been around since 9/15/07 @ 8 pm. And it currently has about 388,405 members. Not bad for the first month.

I bet the fundies are pissed

They might start off happy, the happen to check that bastion of liberalism Wikipedia, and what on the front page as the featured article? Intelligent Design. Oh they'll be so excited, somehow the leftist overloads allowed the porr discriminated christians to slip one through. With the excitement of sunday morning they click away. Only to start with a history of intelligent design. Then in the overview we find this little gem.
It stands in opposition to conventional biological science, which relies on the scientific method to explain life through observable processes

There's some fun stuff in there, unless you actually think that ID is a legitimate scientific study, in which case, um I'm sorry for you. My only concern is that this article is not locked, I have a sneaking suspicion that somethings will altered in the near future.

Congrats Al

As I'm sure you're well aware Al Gore has won the Nobel Peace prize. Now just run, a Gore-Obama ticket would make me giddy with excitement, and I'm rarely willing to refer to myself as giddy.

Political Frustration

It pains me when the scope of how hard people work to decieve sinks in. Half of me says fight fire with fire, and half says take the high road of self immolation. While being burned alive metaphorically sound like fun on a Friday night, the masses will reflect on it only enough to crave s'mores.
I wish I could take credit for that, great imagery. This was taken from the comment section over at Flex Your Head by Byshop. I didn't exactly get permission but I did tell him I was going to steal it, so if he doesn't want it show he can let me know and I'll take it down, but I think I'm ok.

Spitzer's close encounter of the illegal kind

As I've said before I'm all for immigration, we're all immigrants, even the natives that survived moved here from Asia they just immigrated a long time ago. So no problem with immigrants, but there is a huge problem with illegal immigration, namely that its illegal which means these folks essentially cannot become productive members of society. If they get a job they do so at risk to themselves and their employeer but do not pay taxes and they make so little that they can hardly help the economy. Others with a business or economic background might say they help the economy by keeping prices low. In a move that was already tried in California, New York Governor Elliot Spitzer is trying to allow illegal aliens (or undocumented workers) drivers licenses. His theory is that at least then we would have some database of who is here and thats a start. The opposition to it is obvious, in this essay they use the analogy of a driver being pulled over for speeding then the cop finds a large bag of cocaine on the seat, gives the guy a speeding ticket and walks away. I don't think thats all that far off. How can you expect people to have respect for some laws while allowing others to be flagrantly violated? Which is more than I can say about the complaints in this one (the rest of the article is ok) which manages to bring 9/11 into the fray, which brings this debate into compliance with the 2001 ordinance saying that every debate on any issue must have 9/11 and or terrorism mentioned. So not to be simply a hater I have a solution, a very simple solution that others will still not like.

A person comes to the DMV,
"hey I need a license"
"Ok lets see some ID, social security card birth certificate all that jazz."
"Uh I don't have all that stuff."
"Did you forget to bring it or are you an undocumented worker?"
"Ok well then before you can get your permit you need to fill out the green papers over on the counter."
"What are they?"
"The green papers are the first step towards a green card and becoming a citizen."
"What if I don't want to be a citizen?"
"Then I could ask why the fuck you're here, or I could just ask that fine gentleman with the badge and the gun to come have a little chat with you."
"Ok Ok I'll fill out the green form."
"Thought you might, and good luck with the parallel parking, the guy who does the test is a dick and a bit of a racist."
"land of the free..."

Thats my plan, have the people begin the process of becoming citizens or at least legal foreign workers. This is not amnesty at all. It's registering with the INS and taking the first step towards being legal. Exactly how big that first step would be I don't know. I don't have enough experience in this realm to know if you would then consider these folks legal. I do know that they would be on thin ice and that any slip and they fall through the ice, straight to mexico or where ever they're from. Shit why not do a modern public works project? We've got millions of people who are here trying to work for a couple bucks an hour, lets get them legal and put them to work for 6 bucks and hour to do something. Or as part of their status they must contribute 5 hours a week to community clean-up, actually I think that should also be a part of welfare. Imagine if there were millions of people who simply had to clean up the streets from time to time. Then for the immigrants who have quite a few years before they will be legal maybe we could have them helping to build roads or something, give them a job skill while they earn a taxable income. Or they can keep picking fruit, but do it legally. There just one major flaw, capitalism. It's cheaper to use illegal immigrants than it is to use legal folks, so we need to severely crackdown on those using illegal workers especially if we made it easy to become semi-legal. Having a job could be a part of the drivers license paperwork. I'm just brainstorming here but I know there is a solution to illegal immigration, and it has nothing to do with walls.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Gross Story Inspires Great Poem

Ok first off you may have already heard the story of Gary Aldridge. It got around the atheist circles pretty damn quick which is why I didn't bother with what would normally be a crazy story that I'd like to make fun of.

If you haven't heard about it then you're in for a very deranged treat.

The quick of the story is that a Pastor was found dead wearing two wet suits, flippers gloves mask, while hog tied with a dildo up his ass. The police determined that it was "accidental mechanical asphyxia." Now I'm pretty going when it come to this shit, as long your not hurting other people (or only hurting people who like it) then I really don't care what you do in your bed room, or living room, bathroom, back-yard whatever. But how can you not be a little curious about what was going on in this guys place. I mean its just weird, and why two wet suits? one wasn't enough? But all of that has been made fun of already, again that why I didn't bother, but then I read this poem over at Pharyngula and I could resist no longer so here is quite possibly the only poem to appear on this website.

We gather here to eulogize
The Pastor and the Man
Old Gary Aldridge, often wise,
Though not his latest plan.

A member of the Christian nation,
Friend of Jerry Falwell,
His last attempt at masturbation
Didn't go at all well.

For fifteen years, he'd preached the word
A Southern Baptist minister
His death--now, is it just absurd
Or something rather sinister?

How does a person come to wear
Not one wetsuit, but two?
(Although, I know, I should not care
I'm curious--aren't you?)

I tend to think that, years ago,
He spied a rubber glove,
And wondered "Should I--well, you know--
When God and I make love?"

He tried it on, and found a tube,
Half hidden on his shelf,
Of KY--smiled, and murmered "Lube
Thy neighbor as thy self."

And minutes later, hard at work,
He felt a little odd
Was this a sin, or just a quirk?
He talked it out with God.

"Is what I'm doing here a sin?
Or is my pleasure Thine?
Is this as bad as skin on skin?
Lord, please, give me a sign!"

So God produced a pamphlet: "Your
Vacation in Aruba!"
And pointed out--right there, page four--
The wetsuits used for SCUBA

See, God's not really how you think
A deity might be
He's got a wicked bondage kink
(Just ask His son, J. C.)

So Gary died, not steeped in sin
But following God's plan;
So straight to Heaven--come on in!
And bring the wetsuits, man!

A story, sure, but it may yet
Explain what happened then.
The moral is, please don't forget:
Your safeword is "Amen".

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Business as Usual / WTF???

Any thing fun and exciting going on in the political world? Well the Dems are probably about to roll over and play dead, which issue am I talking about? does it matter?. Osama sent out a shockingly well timed tape to help his buddy george, er I mean to fill us with fear and dread. The court doesn't care about Germans being tortured. More Iraqi's killed by mercenaries, didn't the democratically elected government of Iraq kick them out? Oh right we only care about the Iraqi government when its good for the US government, like on blue finger day. Speaking of that government, we're now talking about allowing a fundamentalist Islamic regime to take over, I'm sure that will prevent further "ethnic cleansing."

And heres a short list of Bush scandals, ok so maybe short is the wrong word.

On a lighter note

Actually a much lighter note. First I'll say that kids who like to type wit teh uked up spelzin, dayz annoy ma. But in this case its actually slightly amusing. Someone is trying to make a bible translation for kids.... So heres a little taste of the LOLCat Bible Translation Project. We'll go with the recommended section Job 1.

1. In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job. Teh man was goodz, afraid of teh Ceiling Cat and evilz.

2. Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,

3. And lots of sheepz and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts, srsly.

4. His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.

5. And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin? Gota prey, just in cased."

6. Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Saitin wented 2.

7. Ceiling Cat axt Saitin, "Wher u wuz?" Saitin saied "Oh, hai. I'z wuz in ur earth, woking up and down uponz it."

8. Teh Ceiling Cat sayd "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."

9. "No wai!" sed Saitin.

10. "U just plyin favrits.

11. If u take his cheezburgers, he no laiks u no moar."

12. Then teh Ceiling Cat sed "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no hurtzing Job hissef." And then Saitin went awai.

13. Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,

14. And a mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding grass"

15. "And thens teh servnts was atacked by some dudez and ur naminals was stoldz by them and only i got wai."

16. And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege. He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded ur sheepz and more servnts and only i got awai."

17. And thens a more diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Sum Chaldean dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."

18. And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege.

19. "Ur sunz howse feld over and skishded evryones. Sry."

20. Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."

21. "Teh Ceiling Cat giv me cheezburger, teh Ceiling Cat takded mah cheezburger awai. I stil laiks teh Ceiling Cat."

22. And teh Ceiling Cat sed "I winz!!"

Ridiculous, but kinda funny. And a thorough waste of time, what more can you ask for?

More War Hating

I just found out another friend is about to ship out. She's in the reserves and she'll be leaving Friday to go to several months of training prior to 9 months in Afghanistan. I hate this war.

Friday, October 05, 2007

I hate this war

This is not abstract to me. I hate this war. I haven't been there, I do not toil under the hardships the troops do. But it's not faceless to me. I have friends there, they don't want to be. Some of them used to come back with hero stories or lies they were told that they believed but now I hear nothing good. They want to know when they can come home to stay. They see no light at the end of the tunnel. To those who say we must continue the war please remember all of the children who won't see their fathers or mothers for over a year, some will never meet their fathers. Remember those who fought for your imaginary ideals only to have you turn your backs on them when they said they don't feel right, and now have killed themselves. Remember the shattered lives that cannot be counted, then tell me what we're fighting for.

I have to cut this short, I'm leaving work early so that I can go console a friend. She was talking with a very good friend of hers (I know him but not as well) who recently left for his third tour of duty. She was talking to him when his based came under attack. He is ok, but she is shaken and needs a friend. I wish I could do the same for him.

Fuck this war, and fuck anyone who still supports it.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Unitarian Jihad

I know I'm late to the party but why didn't anyone invite me? I happened across this article from a couple years ago by Jon Carroll. It's freaking hilarious, it makes some valid points too but sometimes its the stupidity in life thats most entertaining, case in point the Unitarian Jihad names, and subsequent name generator. Hmmm... Brother Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


I talk a lot of shit about the US government and about religion, but there are times when I must stop and say that while I am not happy about the direction our country is heading, things are still very good around here. Burma on the other hand is in a very bad place right now. As bad a Guantanamo is at least the captives are alive, well most of them. There is a report of 200 monks being arrested, there is another local source saying that only ten of the monks survived the arrest. A 95% mortality rate and its simply being referred to as an arrest. So while I still see many members of the US government wishing they could crush the skulls of those who oppose them, they still do not have the power to do that, at least not openly. As for the religious aspect, well I might not mind the religious folks if they behaved like these monks who are out in the streets protesting against an oppressive regime as opposed to the fundies around here who seem angry that we don't have an oppressive enough regime. The Buddhist monks have often been the example of what religion is meant to be. I realize this may seem like a rather callous look at an ongoing atrocity and it is, but the truth is I've never been very good at outpouring empathy towards folks thousands of miles away. I could fake it but whats the point? This is the exact sort of situation that the U.N. is meant to handle. The World must let the governments of the world know that this is not acceptable. We cannot force every nation onto a level playing field but there are some actions which simply cannot be tolerated in the modern era. I also see this as a surprisingly good example of the power of the internet and alternative media. I would not have thought of Burma as being particularly on board with such technologies but this also shows the power of the few when they can captivate the attention of the many.