So things are over between Marque and I. I saw it coming but I still expected myself to go into one of my little emo slumps I usually go into after being rejected, the weird thing is I didn't. Probably because I went into that slump while trying to save our budding relationship and it was so damn stressful that when I just made the decision to stop talking to her, and if she wants to then for once she can be the one to initiate contact, it was kind of a relief. She was great and I think her crazy could have been a nice compliment to my own, but I was just never important enough to her. So thats that.
Since then I met Lois that I mentioned before, haven't seen her since but she's an interesting prospect. Shit I'm not even entirely sure that she's single.
I've hung out with another gal that I had a think for quite a while back, unfortunately she then dated my roommate who was, er is, a womanizing scumbag so she's always been tainted in my head since then. So thats a long shot. Maybe it's fucked up of me to be that judgmental. Then again you trying having a crush on a chick then not seeing her for a while only to come home and find her on your couch with your junkie (ok he was actually clean still at that point, otherwise he wouldn't have been my roommate) roommate. Thanks for twisting that knife while you pull it outta my spine.
And then I was sort of mean to someone who is playing the role I usually do. The old study partner. She really likes me but I'm just not interested in her. We didn't talk for a while after she left for school, then she started texting me again. This saturday I was bored as hell and she kept asking me to come up to her school. So at damn near midnight I said fuck it and headed up there. I didn't realize just how far away it was. About 2:30 I got there. I drank too much once I got there. Damn DOD (delayed onset drunkenness). She always wants too fool around but it never goes too terribly far. Unfortunately every time we do she gets renewed ideas and then I get awkward messages the next day. As I've said before, for once being on this side of things has shown me why desperation is a turn off. Anyway I really need to stop doing anything with her, its just not fair to her.
My only real concern is that when I go back into apathetic mode it's often accompanied by the resurgence of Blackout Kilgore, and that guy is an asshole.