Monday, October 17, 2005

destroying a dream

My dream girl is back in town, of course I have no idea how long she's been in town and she hasnt called me. I'll be calling her soon. I should probably just give up on that whole idea already. When I was working with her I didnt have a chance so I'm not sure why I think I will ever have a chance. I had pretty much forgotten about her, well not really, ok I had pretty well put her out of my mind, and then I was racing around durring luch and I saw a car that looked like hers and oddly enough she was driving it. yeah so that may have resparked some interest on my half. Its funny I have some friends that make me feel very mature and proper and other friends where I feel like a downtrodden slob compared to them. Yet I have a good time hanging out with either group. Although I will say that I usually laugh more with the immature people. This girl I simply called my dream girl, which Im not sure if thats and exageration or an understatement? anyway dream girl always makes me second guess myself, not becasue shes doing or saying anything to make me seem inferior but simply because I always I am just trying to keep my foot out of my mouth. Im sure shes everybit as crude as the rest of us when shes with her friends, but I feel like ive offended her anytime I make the least bit of an off-color remark around her. The problem is thats my humor and I have often felt that my humor is one of the stronger points of my personality. If I am not comfortable enough around her to make an ass of myself then maybe she isnt right for me anyway. I need friends that I can laugh with, I laugh and have a good time with this girl its just that its always subdued, I need friends where I can just full tilt laugh my ass off. I have freinds that way, just not enough that are of the female persuasion (the basketball team doesnt count).
There was one other person I took an interest in this summer, shes very smart and she deffiniatly makes me laugh unfortunatly for me she lives to far away. I saw her for the first time in a long time this summer, and only for a weekend. But it was fun and I felt comfortable and easy going. Im sure it was nothing but I felt like there was a little chemistry there. Of course it always feels like theres more chemisty when you've been drinking. Like I said before shes far away so it doesnt really matter anyway. She cool and definiatly someone I hope to keep in touch with. Im not tied down, except to this job, so I can move to a new city if I want to. Probably a bad idea though to move to a new city just for a girl that most likely has no real interest in me any way. It would be kind of funny to just show up and ask if you could stay there, hey i think im going to move here mind if i crash for a while, oh and by the way uh, wana go outsome time? hell yeah now thats smooth. so back to the so called dream girl that doesnt make me laugh. I saw her today.
This blog has taken a decidedly un-political turn. Im not sure if thats a good thing. Im not sure that my personal life is anymore interesting that the lies of our leaders but theres a lot less information available to the general public about my life as opposed to the lies of the politicians, so this is a service to anyone who wants to write a biography about me.
And to anyone writing a biography about me, you should wait untill after I take over the world. But having backround is good so you can reasearch this if you want to.
wow this post was a hell of a rambling, it went on and on and didnt go anywhere. oh well.

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