Friday, October 07, 2005

This is serious, and not politics

and acctualy that title isnt sarcastic.
Im not sure if I really want to right about this. This is an extreamely personal subject, Big sis if you read this you will probably end up calling me when you finish.

Should I just say it all?
why not no one reads this crap but me, and maybe my sister.

Ok so a while ago I was hanging out at a friends house, hes in a small little neighborhood where everyone knows each other. A few of his neighbors came over one day, this little pack of highschool girls. They were chill and pretty cute, but after bullshitting with one girl for a while I finialy asked how old she was. lets just say way to young to be hanging out with a bunch of people who were drinking legaly. So I ran into them a few more times and someone mentioned that they hadent play basketball in a long time. So myself and one of the other guys started playing basketball with them on a pretty regular basis. I was excited about the idea becuase I could really use the exersice. The girls ammuse me they're just silly highschool girls. One on them clearly has some depression issue though. Then one day I kinda of figured out my role in this friendship, because lets be honest it was an akward friendship we all had. I am litteraly 50% older than the youngest girl. now I know that there is no inapropiate intentions but when I meet the girls parents it was glaringly obvious how odd of a friendship it was. I realised that these girls dont have a lot of positive role models in their lives, i decided that I wanted to try to help them. Sorta an unofficial big brother kinda thing. The day that I realised that they needed a mentor was the day that the youngest girl told me that a friend of theirs was riding a 4wheeler at over 50 mph and hit a tree head-on, no helmet. Their friend was in a coma. I expressed my sympathy and gave her a hug, she then tells me about watching her grandfather die. I'm not sure how long ago this part was but her grandfather was very sick in the hospital for a long time and decided to sign a DNR. The family watched as he died. I was heartbroken to hear these stories out of such an innocent young person. The guy in the coma died a few days later. I acctualy knew threw an outside source that the guy was only being kept alive for organ donation. But his heart was given to a young boy. This is when things got very akward. she kept telling me that she was afraid to go to the funeral because some guy was going to be there. I kept saying that, dont you think whatever the problem is that this guy will be civil during a mutual friends funeral(note: the guy was the cousin of the kid who passed away), she just said that I didnt understand. She was right, i didnt. she had one of her friends tell me the story because she couldnt do it. The guy was her older sisters boyfriend at the time. aparently the guy was violent (although i dont think towards any of them) and just generaly a not nice person. the girl, her sister, and her usual other friends had a little party and they were all pretty drunk. the three friends went and passed out in one room and the sister and her boyfriend went to the other. They then did what drunk boyfriends and girlfriends do. The guy left the room and went to the other room where the three girls were. he said he needed to talk to the younger sister and asked the others to leave. the younger sister was still asleep, she woke up with this guy on top of her, kissing her with her pants arounf her ankles. she screamed and her friends rushed in, the girls parents came and beat the kid up a little bit (to make this even more evil, aprently the guy was smiling at her as her mother puched him in the face, he never stopped smiling). Im under the impression that it was stopped before any acctual... well you get the idea. I couldnt even speak after i heard the story.
I talked to a social worker that I work with and she gave me plenty of great advice. I want to help this girl, shes a sweet caring young girl who really needs a little bit of guidance. Im going to give her the # for rape crisis intervention, this is something that she is going to need to talk to someone about. I am not that someone she needs to see a profesional. But hopefully I can help be getting her to seek that help. This is a new role for me. Ive been the strong guy, Ive been the guy who listens, Ive been the shoulder to cry on, Ive given friends advice about stupid shit, but this is a whole new level. I feel like I am already involved, if only at a minor level, but I dont know how i could look myself in the mirror if I didnt do something to help. my co-worker keeps telling me that I would be a great social worker or something in that field. I dont know about all that but I do think that I must help my friend in this case. The fact that I work in an agency so closely tied in with helping teenage girls that are in trouble just makes me feel all the more obligated to do something. I think she has a great family but Im not sure they grasp the severity of the situation. maybe they do. This is not a situation I ever expected to find myself in. hell a year ago my biggest concern was getting a race car put toghether so that we could leave work and go tear it up at the bar. What a world.
Big sis if you read this, um well.. Im in an odd spot.
Its was a really odd friendship anyway. I knew I had no bad intentions with these girls but its still really weird hanging out with a pack of girls that are between 5 and 8 years younger than I. in case you havent done the math that makes the youngest one 15. this whole situation is just crazy.
For a while I was thinking that I probably shouldnt hang out with them anymore, because it was just too akward but now I feel like I must stay involved. I dont know. Ill update this as I am able.

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