I got picked to do a Meme, I generally think that I talk about myself too much around here, but at least one person apparently wants to hear more. So thank you to ffbgirl for showing some love. My task is to write 16 things about myself. Unfortunately I was about half way through this yesterday when I thought I saved it but apparently google had other plans. I assure you this version will not be as good as the last. Oh and If you don't care about my crap (and I don't blame you) then skip below there some stuff about torture down there.
1) I know what Meme means. Ok so I had to use Wiki to find out the exact meaning but I knew it was coined by Richard Dawkins, and the general idea. Its a "unit of cultural information." This is not cultural info, this is crap about me.
2) I used to be a glider pilot. When I was 14 I started flying at Harris Hill, its one hell of a great way to teach a kid responsibility. When your five thousand feet up all alone at 15 in control of your life it builds some confidence to say the least. And to circle a thermal with a hawk is absolutely surreal, they have no fear in the air, they have no enemies in the air so why should they fear you? Probably the second most influential part of my life, I'll get to the first later.
3) I'm an atheist. If you've been around here much you've probably figured that out. In my normal life I'm semi-open about that. All my friends know, some of my family know but few that I work with know. I'm sure at least a few would assume I'm not religious but I bet they would still consider me a christian which is kinda funny to me. There have been times when I wanted to say some thing. In particular when our very conservative secretary said something about if or where I go to church and I said I don't go to church and she said oh bad boy, then someone else joked, "what are you an atheist?" and the secretary seemed slightly taken back by the very notion and said "well I didn't mean all of that." I just wanted to say no it fine I am an atheist but I didn't I know it would create minor issues and its just easier not too. When I leave this place I think I might tell her, I want to remind her of that very moment. I would start it by asking what she thought of me, was I a good person or a bad person, after she said I was good I would remind her, she wouldn't know what to do... someday.
4) Now for the most life changing single event of my life. I went on a mission trip to Guatemala, twice actually. I intentionally put this right after the atheist bit because I do not believe in god but there are some religious groups that do amazing work. I will still happily support those groups. That first trip opened my eyes to what american foreign policy really does to people. I found out about a horrible 35 year civil war in which hundreds of thousands were killed because the CIA didn't like the new democratically elected president. I latter learned that we didn't like him because he bought the land back from united fruit and distributed it to the poor, so for that we overthrew his government and brought 35 years of martial law and anarchy to a people who are not half way around the world, they are the next country south of mexico. But that is not what shocked me. What shocked me is that I was a good student that was fascinated by history and I had never once heard a single word of this in all my years. That is why it shocked me, it made me look into how many other things like it have been done around the world. Doing that made me ill.
5) I'm apathetic. In general I just don't give a fuck about, well anything. I float along down the river of life, I've got a great paddle I could go where I please but for some reason I don't put it in the water, I just go where the river takes me. I am not saying this is a good thing, I need to start steering because I have a good idea where this river is going, and I don't want to end up there.
6) I'm a fat bastard. Goes along with above, too much food, way to much sitting on my ass.
7) I go through bouts of depression, but being apathetic means that its not severe depression because I would need to care about something in order for it to go badly enough that I get really depressed.
8) I love punk rock. I think all of these things have been brought up before, oh well.
9) I drive an old pick-up truck from my fathers old business. I can't complain it was free and other than the gas has been cheap to run. But having a pick-up means doing little favors for friends quite often. Sometimes its cool and I feel like I'm helping someone in need, appreciated and what not, other times it feels like I'm being used. Oh well thats life. It is the reason for number 10 thought.
10) I'm the manager (friend with truck/free beer at shows) for a local punk band E.P.D. or Elmira Punk Division. Yeah not the most creative of names but it does have the same initials as the Elmira Police Department which lends itself to the tag line, "same initials different assholes." Classy bunch of guys let me tell ya. Oh and on the off chance that anyone is reading this from elimra, Friday is the CD release party at the AMP, be there. Or Thursday is a show in Cortland, not sure where. I should probably find that out seeing as I'm driving.
11) I'm a car guy. I own a 75 morris mini but its not running at the moment because I'm freaking poor. I've driven some pretty bad ass cars, Vette's, Porches, a Viper, some Cobra replicas but nothing comes close to the giggle factor of a real mini. It just puts a smile on your face to drive it.
12) I have a degree in Motor sports technology. How random is that? Goes along with the car guy thing. Especially random when you factor in that I work in a non-profit human services agency working with teen-mothers. Strange world.
13) I swear too fucking much.
14) I'm a hopeless romantic. On the rare occasion when some girl actually likes me I usually fall for them and fall hard. Unfortunately the hopeless part comes from the fact that those times are few and far between. In the past I would make no effort, I didn't want to make an ass of myself so I left it entirely up to them. Unfortunately I'm so bad at reading women that even when they were throwing themselves at me (her words not mine) I still didn't get it. So lately I've gone the other direction. I'm being very forward and just saying Hey I like you, we should go out some time. Needless to say I've been shot down a fairly impressive number of times in the last month.
15) I don't consider myself a people person. I'm outwardly friendly when I need to be, I would do anything for my friends, but most of the time I'd rather avoid people I don't know than try to be-friend them. Maybe my standards are too high. My father was the kind of person who could stand behind a person in a line notice that the person was holding a child and has a bit of a wedgie and would make a joke of offering to help them out (true story) they would laugh and usually would strike up a conversation after that. Within 30 seconds he could be your friend. I have a friend the exact same way. It's kinda funny with him because hes got a ton of tattoos and some piercings and sometimes has a green mohawk but looks are deceiving in this case. The guy loves everyone, from total nerds (he plays magic) to the most gangsta mo-fo's in this ghetto ass lil' town, he loves everyone and almost everyone loves him back. So with those as my thoughts of what a people person is, I am not a people person. Oh well.
16) I don't understand why people fear death. I'm an atheist, in my view when you die its over, but everyone does it so why be afraid. Fear isn't going to prevent death, but it might keep you from enjoying life, and thats the greatest tragedy of all, the only tragedy I suppose. I really don't get it when supposedly religious people are scared of death. I would think that someone who thinks they are going to heaven, eternal bliss would be practically excited about the prospect. But then again I don't understand religious people.
Ok well thats my 16 things. Much of it is repeats of crap I've said before. Oh well. Thats probably the last Meme I'll do for a while.