Monday, April 28, 2008

Startling Revelation

I think I might have figured out my other major problem with women. Yeah this should be obvious but I'm inept. Most people like me, I can hang out comfortably with most crowds, although the one segment of society that always makes me nervous is rednecks. If you've been reading this site for any length of time you'll notice that I have a couple types of posts, my irreverent views on politics and the world at large, my upbeat and irreverent views on my friends and my day to day life, and finally some emo-ass shit about how I get shot down by every woman I show any sort of interest in. Why do people like me when I'm being a lovable asshole but no one loves the tender side that tries to be the thoughtful guy from the lifetime movie, not to be confused with the more prevalent spousal abuse guy from the lifetime movies. A friend of mine pointed this out to me but it didn't quite stick because no one actually listens to advice, even when they ask for it. She worded it very differently but basically told me to just be myself. I know that I turn into a needy little bitch that just wants to do anything to make her (whoever it may be at that moment) feel happy. I can't say that I'm faking it, it's sincere but its not what people are looking for. Then my sister was chatting with me about some bad news. And she wasn't too upset about it and she set me up for some jokes, so I made the inappropriate jokes and she was happy. She was happy because when everyone else was trying to be nice with pity I made fun of her. I somehow need to re-wire my brain to not fall in love instantly. So long as I think I have no chance with a girl, like when they aren't single, then I'm just normal irreverent shit talking me that everyone seems to like. I need to still be that same person who loves to talk shit even while thoughts of romance dance in my head. That is my challenge that is my quest.


Rob said...

Stop looking for it, and then you'll find it. I used to be the same way about relationships.

Kilgore Trout said...

yeah, you've given me that advice before, and its sound advice. Unfortunately I live in Elmira. Meaning that in the last several years I've stumbled on exactly two women that I would even consider for a real relationship. Most decent people in this town either get married or move or both. One of the two I'm thinking of almost was married. Oh wait I forgot about the Elmira College girls, that doubles my number to four. Not to mention I tried that route before, it didn't work so well for me, then again neither is this.

But thanks for trying. How's the shoulder?