Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
The Darkness man, thats what the lucky guy and gal walked down the isle to. The wedding was awesome, there were a few little mistakes on my part but I think it went very well overall. I wish we had practiced the ceremony, that might have helped, oh well, all that matters is that two amazing people who love each other are happy and married. I'll get back to this part of the weekend in a moment, you know I gots ta ramble a bit.
There was also a little added bonus of the groom finding his long lost little sister, who I'll just refer to as Julia Roberts, a nick name in reference to the best actress in Fried Green Tomatoes. Don't ask. The groom's biological dad had another daughter that the groom had only met once for a few minutes quite a few years ago. So with the power of the intertubes and with family on the mind prior to the wedding he decided to try to find her. Sure enough she was on the Myspace, a site which often gets a bad wrap because of child molesters and shit like that but there is the other side of it which is reunions like this. I would have lost track of many old college friends if it weren't for Myspace and Facebook. So she came up for the wedding. It's hilarious if you saw the two of them you'd think nothing of it, brother and sister, you'd assume they had known each other forever and not just a couple of days. Our crew is pretty easy going, we like everyone unless they give us a reason not to, and she assimilated in instantly. Shes a cool chick, and I know the groom was very happy to have her here.
Ok lets start with Friday. Rehearsal dinner, food was good but a little light on the rehearsal. Then off to the "Guess who's not invited party" which was another friends party celebrating her not getting married to a douchebag who ran off with her best friend who happened have been married to his best friend at the time. Catch all that? Her party was fun but I had to perform a wedding the next day so I decided to take it easy, er well that was the plan. I left there and had to stop by another friends house who was having a little birthday party for his GF who is now a friend of mine too. This is when my plan fell apart, I had another growler of that delicious but dangerous brew from up at the Horseheads Brewing Company. Then I was offered a shot, I shouldn't but what the hell one shot never hurt any...151? Oh fuck. So yeah the day of the wedding I woke up on my buddy couch. I passed out on their bed for a little bit, I dove in as a joke thinking they were coming to bed, but they didn't right away and I fell asleep. Apparently as I was being helped to the couch I looked back at the bed and said, "I gotta get me one of those."
Saturday morning I woke up bright, early, and hungover a little. So I went home and crashed for a couple hours, then went and picked up the groom and we went and got shaves at the barbershop ala Sweeney Todd, but without the bleeding. I'd never had one and it seemed a good enough excuse to give it a try. I honestly wasn't that impressed with the shave but the hot towel over the face was relaxing. I'm convinced that having a shave is just the masculine form of a spa, and no one will give you shit for it because it does involve a straight razor on your neck. Unfortunately there was a bit of a line and we were pretty late getting out of there, luckily we could get ready pretty quick.The wedding perfectly fit the people getting married. If they had all been in tux's at some big church it just wouldn't have seemed right. Instead we were at a fire hall where the ushers and the groom wore tuxedo t-shirts and the bridesmaids wore white tank tops. As an added bonus there was one woman in with the groomsmen (groomswoman?) and one guy in with the bridesmaids. He was probably glad they didn't wear dresses, although maybe not. The bride was beautiful, she did wear a dress, so were their two daughters. The ring bearer, the groomswomans son, looked like a lil pimp in his all white tux and a fresh mohawk. The wedding itself was short and sweet, as they and I wanted it to be. Then some pictures and we were off to the party.
The reception was a blast as I knew it would be. The band played some songs, the grooms grandmother was not impressed. After the song F-bomb, the lyrics of which are basically, "Fuck you and fuck yourself, fuck me and everybody else." I grabbed the mic and said,"I don't need to fuck you, you fucked yourself back at the firehouse." A good insult is always appreciated among my friends. The cutting of the cake had a little twist, the bride looked very nervous, she didn't want cake in the grill. So they threw the cake at the audience, I saw it coming and narrowly ducked outta the way, the male bridesmaid behind me not so much, he got both barrels. Although he did later get me with a piece of cake that he snatched from Julia Roberts, who almost kicked his ass, she likes cake. Then they broke out the go-kart, of the off-roading variety and got ourselves completely covered in mud. There should be some pics of me floating around the tubes of driving around the track with one hand and a beer in the other. There was plenty of other silliness around, like the trampoline and kids bicycles and big-wheels. I was surprised by how few people actually stayed the whole night, which actually worked out ok because the plan had been for everyone to camp outside. But it was raining, we hadn't set up the tents and there was only the Bride and Groom, Julia Roberts, a guy named Matt and myself so we all found some carpet that looked comfortable and called it a day well lived.
D&S, I love you guys.
And here's the Darkness.