Friday, August 19, 2005
god damnit, women can drive you completly insane and not even know it. And im not even talking about a wife or even a girlfriend, simply a friend. shes leaving town so a few of us from work took her out to dinner and were having a nice time, good so far. Now i need to explain that while i like this girl alot and would got out with her in a heartbeat shes leaving the state soon and is out of my league to put it mildly. So anyway were out having some sushi and generaly enjoying eachothers company when she just says shes done and wants to go home. Its only 10 o'clock at this point. Now the only reason i have any right to be upset at all is that a few weeks ago another guy from highschool comes home thats good friends with her friend and they all go out till the bars close and tell us about what a crazy night they had. This shit is getting old. Its been this way forever im just that friend that they tell great storys to, never get invited when the storys are being made. I should be worryed that she may see this post but I really dont care right now. Its not an insult to her shes a great girl, smart funny compasionate and incredibly beautiful. It really has almost nothing to do with last night. last night was simply a reminder that as much I try to do for a girl, any girl they never can think of me as any thing but a friend. This girl i have been speaking of i should appogize to in this post because it really isnt her fault she didnt do anything wrong and im not trying to be more than friends with her, although i wouldnt be apposed to the idea either. Its always the same, every girl i meet I like them they think im a nice guy we hang out, maybe, then they tell me all about some guy they meet thats cute. to which i then have to point out, ok that may be but hes a jerk and you cant stand him. oh and if the person I was speaking of is reading this im now on to a different occation. They then tell me that hes actually nice he just acts like a dick. And i have to say no he is a dick and hes acting nice cause he wouldnt mind fucking you. then the girl gets made at me and runs to the other guy. Then a few days later she comes back and says i was right and im forced to say i told you so in so many words. of course so as im not blaming this entirely on the fairer sex i will say im over-weight and broke as shit right now. Im not saying any of these girls are shallow its just that lets face it everyone is somewhat shallow and its just that looks are the only thing you can decide about a person before you meet them. Im as guilty as most for it its no coincidence that this girl that broke my heart, by accident and probly without having a clue that she did, is among the most beautifull people ive had the pleasure of ever seeing. I'm rambling on a bit here but if you have a problem with it fuck of cause the site is called quintessential ramblings so guess what i ramble. And if its quintessential to you then thats cool but honestly this is all about me and things that i just need to get of my chest. so any way yeah girls they can be teh greatest thing that ever happens, they can simply throw you a smile and you get this warm feeling inside and all the hair on you stands up while you almost walk into a wall cause you stop paying attention to anything besides her and that great smile. Ah well i just had an hour long talk with another woman I work with and things are right with the world again. just bullshitting about life can really take you mind off... of.... life, yeah. So if anyone has ever been to this site ill be happy, and if your still reading this crap then, well im not sure if im happy that my writing is going well or else damn your bored. So if you ever happen to read this lil muffin then i just want you to know that seeing you was the highlight of my summer, twice a week seeing that great big smile looking at me just made my life that much better. Im going to miss you more than you will ever know.