Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Ive been touched by his noodly appendage

Last night I went and plundered the nearest chain books store, I prefer the local one but I knew they wouldn’t have the scholarly volume I was interested in. So after a bit of searching the booty was found. For some reason it was placed in the humor section instead of the religion area, I’m sure it was an honest mistake by some new stock personnel. The book I refer to is none-other than The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (not to be confused with “the flying spaghetti monster speaks” which was written by a false prophet) by the greatest prophet the world has even known Bobby Henderson.

This book has changed my life. I suddenly feel fulfilled. There has been something of a void in my life, I found every religion I had ever looked into as having similar faults, Buddhism was close but I could never live up to those morals. So I was looking for a peaceful religion (which takes Christianity and Islam out of the running) with great ideals but relatively loose morals. Then I came across the Prophet Bobby’s website, www.venganza.org and suddenly I knew I was in the presence (sorta) of someone who truly understood the universe. The website was filled with knowledge but left me yearning for more. That is why I highly recommend purchasing the gospel of the one true creator.

One point that isn’t mentioned as often is the outright dismissal of Dogma, which forced me to look up exactly what dogma means as I only really know about

OK minor note, I’ve said it before but I work at the coolest office ever, My boss and I just spent 15 minutes taking about parties at college, I liked his- No Pants Party. He said the reality was that it just meant knees had to be showing but that after a few hours it really was a no pants party. That sounds like a good time. He may not know it but my boss has clearly been touched by his noodly appendage.

Back to Dogma, which is more than just a Kevin Smith movie, not to discount the movie any it’s a good flick, but Dogma is the idea that some truths are simply unquestionable. So that the idea of a religion outright dismissing the idea of dogma is quite revolutionary. They admit that they could be wrong, there might not be a FSM despite the overwhelming evidence in favor of such a being. Imagine if Christians said well these are the things we think are true, but its possible they have errors and we will update ourselves as necessary. Its like the exact opposite of Bush, no one is infallible not even our almighty creator the FSM. He has good days and bad just like anybody else.

I'm just a good pirate costume away from being a Pastafarian, so to all my brothers and sisters out there who have been searching for the answer, or at least an answer, then I invite you in to be touched by his noodly appendage. We welcome all with open arms, if you choose another path, that’s cool too. We are a religion of peace and understanding, we take no offence with those who chose to worship another, we feel they are misguided but they are not bad people.

One thing that is often brought up and cannot be discounted as a reason for choosing the one true faith is that our Heaven has a Beer Volcano and a Stripper Factory, whats yours got? Angels, yeah but are they scantily clad?

Also I wish every religious book contained a simple Q&A section like the Gospel of the FSM, it would save so much confusion.

Q: Your “religion” offends my beliefs. What should I do about feeling mocked?
A: Our alternative beliefs are in no way mocking your beliefs more than yours mock ours. FSM belivers are peaceful, open-minded, well educated, and reject dogma outright. We’ve never started a war and have never killed others for their opposing beliefs. Compare our record to yours.

I also liked the question before it which was simply your “religion” offends my beliefs which the prophet quickly retorts with, “that’s not a question.”

Conclusionairily, this is an excellent book, it’s a fantastic religion and a worthy read for anyone interested in the Intelligent Desgin debate, even if you aren’t in the market for a new Religion. To those who aren’t happy with their current religion, I highly recommend you give the CoFSM a test drive, if your not satisfied then return it (the religion not the book) at no cost to you, and most likely your old religion will take you back. With that I say ARRGGH to you and your mates, have a great day ye scurvy landlubbers.

BTW: conclusionairily is a word we made up in like 7th grade when we were told we needed transitions for our paragraphs In conclusition sounded lame so we used that instead, the teacher didn’t think our creativity was as important as using real words.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I *LOVE* that book!