Friday, December 12, 2008

The Ladies That Confound Me

Well as "anonymous" pointed out, I'm finally coming to grips with my real problem with women, my own insecurities. And man has shit changed. First there was a friend of a friend, I can't recall for sure but I might have mentioned her in the post about halloween weekend. There was a whole bunch of drama going on and so in order to break away I just went over and kissed this girl for a bit. We've hung out a few times with mutual friends, and she later told me that I was the only guy there that could have gotten away with that. She was a whole lot of fun, the sex was quite spectacular but for me it was just sex and even though she claimed it wasn't anything more for her either, I knew it was so I ended it before I caused her anymore pain. The reality is it wasn't quite as altruistic as that, she has her share of issues, but I'm not going to air that shit here. Especially cause she'll probably read this. As I told you before, you're a good shit and you someone who can love you like you deserve.

Then theres this girl from school, I've been helping her a lot with history. She was one of two in my study group, she was the one that really needed help. I've had a feeling for a while that she was interested in me but it wasn't mutual, shes a nice girl but she doesn't really do it for me. Unfortunately this whole time I've have feelings for the other girl in the study group, at first it wasn't a big deal because she had a BF, at which point I'm not trying to flirt and I'm far less awkward. Everyone I'm not hitting on loves me. I guess that proves I'm still not entirely without insecurities, oh well I'm heading in the right direction. I really can't tell whats going on with the girl I'm interested in, but I'm fairly sure its not much. But then there's the other one. We spent quite a bit of time on school work so we became friends, and then I was bored one night and invited her over to watch a movie. Then last weekend it was my roomies 21st b-day so I was heading to the bar and felt like I should bring someone. I tried a bunch of people and she was the only one who could come out. So we all go to a few bars have a few too many drinks and pretty soon it's morning and I'm not alone. Umm... Ok, no big deal, nothing much happened were both still clothed. But then she tells me she's never kissed a guy before. Woah. I didn't see that one coming. So we've hung out a few more time since and well it's been considerably harder for her to concentrate on history thats for sure. Theres some issues with this, first off I'm just not that interested in her. Second she's heading for school in a month. I guess my thought is that if she just want to go from learning about history to learning about sex so she doesn't head off to college a virgin then ok, thats fine. But I really don't think that she can keep herself from getting attached. Maybe its wrong for me to even fuck her if I'm not interested, I don't know. I'll also admit that I'm telling her I don't want to get serious because she's leaving for school soon, and not because I'm not into her. So similar to the first woman, this might get broken off sooner than later in order to save a bit of heartache, for her, I'm not feeling any attachment issues.

And then out of left field there's this girl from another class. She's really attractive and fun to talk to, but she's really religious which is more of an issue for her than me. When I first saw her myspace page and it had a very little on it and what was there was almost entirely religious I had a feeling she was going to be an annoying fundie. Man was I wrong, shes actually a pretty cool chick. She has a BF at the moment but they just started dating and it doesn't sound like its going to last. I hate to say it and I could be very wrong but just from what she's said I think that she has a BF and he has a fuck buddy. I hope I'm wrong because she deserves better than that but considering she said they met online, and stripped for each other on web cam before they met and had sex the second time they met, and she said all he ever seems to talk about is sex, including pretty explicit text messages at random times through out the day, I don't think I'm wrong to assume that he's just after he body. Which I can't blame him for, she's got a great body, but shes got an interesting mind too and she should be with someone who can appreciate that as well. She said that she thinks I'm really cool and she likes talking to me but being an atheist is a big problem for her. I know she wants a serious relationship and I think she'd be better off with someone who may not view the world quite the same but can appreciate her mind as well as her body rather than with a guy who at least claims religion while not treating her right, of course I could be a little bit biased here.

Then theres the girl from work, shes still cute funny smart and have a ton in common, but I don't think shes interested. No time to worry about that, cause I have to go get some lunch with her.


Anonymous said...

Honestly if she's a virgin than I'd say don't touch that. Chicks tend to either A)love forever the guy that took their virginity or B) curse them forever.
Both can lead to messy situtations. For females there is also alot of emotions involved. My first time I was all like it was just sex..but the next day i was an emotional trainwreck, even though I never thought it would be such a big deal.
I hope that offers some insight.

Kilgore Trout said...

Hmm... Good point. The other night she asked what we were, BF/GF or whatever, and I said I really don't know. We then talked about her leaving for school and shit, I think she was disappointed but agreed that it couldn't work. She wanted to talk more about it last night but I was actually at the other girls house and I thought that was a convo to have in private.

Speaking of the other girl, I've got a question for you even though I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

She's dating this guy and everything she tells me about him just throws up red flags but he's a hardcore christian so she thinks hes a good person. As a friend I want to say something, but... well I'm asking you the question, lets see if I came to the right conclusion.

Anonymous said...

there wasn't a question but I think I know what you are asking? are you asking if you should say something? if that's the question than...
It honestly depends on how good of friends you are. I have found the best way is to warn the person but to have reasons to back them up- but than let them know whatever they do you are still their friend & will be there for them if anything happens.
This usually works because than you can still look out for the friend- they will keep telling you things. They also know than that if something does happen there is a support system.
Sometimes all you can do for a friend is catch them as they fall.

Kilgore Trout said...

I had come to the conclusion that telling someone they are in a bad relationship usually does more to strain your friendship than it does to fix or end the bad relationship. On top of that I have been up front about the fact that I'm interested in her so telling her that her BF is no good probably wouldn't have much sway with her anyway. So my plan was to just avoid that conversation.

But You know how plans go. We had been texting back and forth for a few hours, some of it pretty dirty, and I later found out it that the tone changed because she talked to her BF for a few minutes a realized that maybe she shouldn't be asking her friend for naked pictures. Then I didn't say a whole lot and she kept asking what I was thinking and I kept telling her she really didn't want to know I didn't want to tell her. But she kept pressing me so I told her that I hope there was a lot more to the guy than what she told me because everything she said about him threw up major red flags, I also admitted that I of course have a serious bias because I like her. Then she was pissed because it took me so long to say it that she was expecting some huge insult or something, what I actually told her she pretty much just said was true and no big deal because she pretty much did only say the bad stuff.

I'm trying to be careful with this one on an emotional level because she has said repeatedly that shes a huge tease. She's also said that she's not sure she could get past the fact that I'm not christian, the way she said it though made it seem like she was really disappointed that I wasn't christian because otherwise she really likes me. So I'm not sure if there is any chance of this going anywhere or not, so like I said I'm trying not to get attached emotionally.

Oh and while I didn't get to talk to her about it, I think you're right about not going any further with the virgin, and I think she came to the same conclusion.